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Re-Finding the Words

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter. ~ James Earl Jones
Thoughts Finally Uttered

I am going to say something and it may not be overly popular in some of my second circles.  Over the weekend I participated in a Fashion Show in Second Life and I wasn’t very happy. I was miserable actually. It wasn’t the show, the designers, or the agency, all of them did a fantastic job, it was me. Do you ever figure out a real truth in your life but as time passes you waver a little bit and jump in and then get slammed in the face with the realization you just made the same mistake… Again? Yeah, it was kind of like that. Anyone close to me knows I quit runway right after Miss Virtual World (was it 2011 (for 2012)?). I know some people thrive on the atmosphere, but for me it’s stifling, stressful, my arse gets numb, and I get bored, tired and cranky. Don’t get me wrong, I continued to walk some charity shows and shows with friends, but for the most part, I abstained. Wanting to stay a member of the agency, I signed up for the one show that was in a time that I could be available, only as the time rolled on, they changed the show to two hours later. Not convenient for me, I had a house full of friends wanting to watch pro football at that hour, but since I had committed, I held to it. Somehow along the way I had forgotten the amount of time it takes to prepare for a show, those of you who think it an easy  matter of dress and go, you are sadly mistaken. You have to dress, accessorize, adjust prims perfectly, pick walks and poses (I had five outfits with, at a minimum, twelve poses for each). Most of which I had to buy since I’d whittled away my poses in inventory to just those I use for pictures. In the preparation, I completely lost a weekend. I lost a blog post or two, and I felt like I lost my way. (thank you to the two besty’s who let me cry on their shoulders)
But today, oh how I love today. I am again officially holding the title of Blogger. Not runway model, just blogger and for the first time in three days, I feel free. Peaceful and free. When I note a change in my life I usually post the picture of me sitting on my traveling trunk, wearing a top hat and moving on, but not today. When I awoke this morning for work, I knew that picture wasn’t enough for today, because today I turn away from one area of my life to peacefully continue to grow in another. I jumped inworld, power shopped in five minutes, dressed, took a simple snap and cropped it. Retired again and moving on, I kinda like the feel of that. I hope your Monday is as uplifting as mine has turned out.
Hair: .Shi, Raven  **The Secret Affair**
Wings: Pure Poison, Broken Wings  **The Secret Affair**
Corset: [Haste], Anabel corset  **The Secret Affair**
Bottoms: *Boom*, Bikini bottoms
Ears: [Mandala], elf ears
Hands/Body: SLink, Physique and Relaxed V2
Skin/Appliers: Glam Affair Margot



Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. ~Henry Van Dyke
possession leonor3

    possession leonor1 possession leonor2possession leonorpossession hikaru

*PosESioN*  Poses Available now at Rock Your Rack



A Poet’s Heart

A bell is not a bell until someone rings it, a song is not a song until someone sings it. Love wasn’t put in the heart to stay, for love isn’t love till you give it away.~Senora Roy
A Poets Heart
Not much to say this time, just a little something “off” that happened and I’ve been thinking about it all day. Taylor and I ran into one of my posse’s ex’s today as we were out lolly-gagging about. We talked for quite a bit and as we walked away, Taylor said , “have a great day Byron.” Taylor wasn’t in my original group of friends, remember? My mom introduced us. As a late comer he doesn’t know a lot of the history. Because, see, my friends ex’s name is actually Tom. Yep just Tom. My friend had nicknamed him Byron because her name is Rose and she was “Byron’s Rose.” (of the Lord Byron ilk).  I explained it to poor Taylor, who like a man is a bit confused about the entire arrangement. I don’t know, to me it just all felt poignant and tragic. Nothing more, just a random run of the keyboard.
MY love is like a Red Red Rose ~ by Lord Byron
O, my luve’s like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June
O, my luve’s like the melodie
That’s sweetly play’d in tuneAs fair art thou, my bonie lass
So deep in luve am I
And I will luve thee still, my Dear
Till a’ the seas gang dry

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my Dear
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun!
O I will luve thee still, my Dear
While the sands o’ life shall run



Hair: [sYs], Hanayo

Dress: Poet’s Heart, Leaf Lady  **Rock Your Rack**




I think I’ll be going to Heaven, because I had good intentions. But my actions are another thing. ~Curtis Jackson


I know! How bad of me! I said I was going to show some of the upcoming Rock Your Rack event items. I am such a bad, bad, Cao.. but! But! how could I? I haven’t shown you this new pretty from Leezu Baxter of Leezu! I knew you would be gravely angry with me if I kept this gorgeousness hidden away for just me, just me, my precious. Yikes! skeered myself there a moment, I kinda sounded like Gollum.


Such a softly feminine gown, the perfect necklace, “Nightingale”  from AvaGardner of Kungler’s Extra and a mussed easy style hair “Kalli 2″ created by Marisa Kira of D!va. Easy, but gorgeous style.  See? Now wasn’t that worth the wait until tomorrow to see the pretties from Rock Your Rack? I hope you have a wonderful night!



Cao~ bringing sexy back! ;)


I’ll even include the taxi, I’m kinda a nice like that! If I have to be… I guess..


Leezu!: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Lombard%20Park/126/239/22

Kungler’s: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Accidentally%20Inlove/112/128/38

D!va: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/CalanDiva/148/155/23


Spandex and Dental Floss

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” ~ Erma Bombeck
Every year about this time of year I do my once a year shopping for a bathing suit.

To me, living in Florida, especially living on the beach, make owning a decent bathing suit required equipment. I can’t help it, at times it’s just too plain hot and humid for regular clothes. But, of course, I digress. I always start to look for bathing suits now because in case you haven’t checked lately, they can be quite pricy at the beginning of the summer and the sales begin around now. Since my “equipment shopping” is a necessity of location, I should have held hallow the knowledge that it’s probably an annual event I should partake of while alone. Sadly, this year I did not. I had Dr. Ben with me. As we were wandering about the surf shop, he happens upon a mannequin wearing, I suppose technically you’d call it a bikini, but from my perspective it looked little more than a patch of cloth held together with dental floss. Looking at it, then at me he says, ““You’d look great in that! You want to try it on?” Thinking he’s lost is ever loving mind I answered, “Look at the mannequin, now look at me, do I look like I could possibly even get it on?” To which he responded, “I’m sure they come in bigger sizes.” You kind of have to feel sorry for a man who makes the error of saying THAT to his girlfriend. I let him live in his fool’s paradise and sadly, I found it in my size.


The bottoms are a thong, so living the latter slide to midlife I know this outfit is going to look like ‘ell to anyone other than a pre-pubescent teenage girl with bony hips. But then there is the added insult of the top. Two sparkly triangles held together by said dental floss, with no support for anything more than breasts the size of a walnut. Did I mention the pre-pubescent detail anywhere in this? Because I may be small by all standards, but to be honest, me, in this top, I think a small sneeze would lead to a wardrobe malfunction that would land me on the opening reel of some “Girl’s Gone Bad” video out there in cyber-space. Dr. Ben, always the hopeful sort says, “Come out and let me see, I know you look hot!” I thought about it a minute and then realized if this store caught fire right this second and this was all I had to wear out of this dressing room, I’d go down in flames with the building before I’d walk out of here.

The take from? Yeah, it’s here. Note to self; Dear Self, Never take a man on a crucial annual ritual shopping trip. Ever. Oh! And that oversized pair of sweat pants and floppy tee-shirt I ended up buying instead work really well when you decide to drown your sorrows in a pint of double chocolate moose tracks ice cream with a bottle of red wine. The real take from?  Getting old can be ‘ell. But that’s just my spin on it. Hey, I can’t possibly make this chit up, so it must be true.



Hair: Dura, BOY52,  **NEW** (love this! my new fave hairs! <3)

Dress: Baboom, Alegra  **NEW**  <3

Earrings: ieQED, Arraw

Bracelet: [Mandala], Billionaire  **Collabor88**

Shoos: Essenx, Malaga  **Rock Your Rack**  COMING SEPTEMBER 1st!

Bag: 1992, Spiked Bag **La Metallique**

Skin: Glam Affair, Rose

Hands/Feet: SLink

Ears: [Mandala]

Promises Made By the Light of the Moon

Promises are like the full moon, if they are not kept at once they diminish day by day.~ German Proverb

Promises Made By the Light of the Moon

Blame it on the moon. If you’ve not used it before, I bet you’ve at least heard the saying once or twice. Especially if you know an ER nurse or a cop. Who hasn’t been in rapture or torment at the sight of a moon? Depending, of course, if you are in the arms of a lover or overhearing the sound of a wolf. We know the moon effects the tides, being made of mostly water, why would it not effect us as well? Shakespeare certainly felt it did in “A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream.” He used the moon to represent both chastity and Sexual desire. The first when Theseus warns Hermia that becoming a nun will subject her to “To live a barren sister all your life / Chanting faint hymns to the cold fruitless moon”, the latter in the references of Lysander often serenading Hermia “by moonlight” or the lover’s chasing each other in the woods “in the moonlight.”

Promises Made By the Light of the Moon

Lately I’ve been thinking Second Life has it’s own virtual lunar cycle, because I’ve met a few lunatics in there. It’s worth a moments thought or two. And don’t stick that head in the cyber dust, you know exactly what I mean. Oh! I almost forgot, the take from? I think I make a really hot Goddess Selene . But right now, you can too thanks to .Enfant Terrible. and the Fantasy Gacha Event. But heck, don’t take my word for it, check it out yourself. Here, I even included the taxi for you. I’m kinda nice like that.

.Enfant Terrible. Moonchild gachakey

Jewelry: .enfant terrible., Moon Child **Fantasy Gacha Fair**
Eyes: VerseEye, Calypso jellyfish
Dress: .::DeadDollz::., Vita Chamber
Skin: Glam Affair, Rose
Hands/Feet: SLink
Hair: Tram, C407
Moon: Boudoir

The Door Left Open

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. ~John Barrymore

The Door Left OpenHair: [Lelutka], Colleen **2014 Hair Fair** . Glasses: Glam Affair, Vintage glasses . Necklace: Ison, Safari Tribe **Collabor88** .

I am going to try to be succinct and to the point today, I’ve a banger of a headache. I was recently interviewed for a magazine article and a comment made in the inworld Miss Virtual World Academy group chat reminded me of one of my answers to a question and I think it bears repeating here. In the group an instructor admonished a conversation among models about not bad mouthing others and being professional at all times. To the conversing parties, I know you want to be an upper echelon model, or perhaps you are, I don’t know as this was never a goal of mine in Second Life, I’d find such a goal to be akin to wanting to catch a unicorn to ride to work, because face it, it’s not real. But this thought bears speaking of in regards to real life as well, because it is the foundation of living a happy life.

The Door Left OpenBag: David Heather, Bally Bag **L’Accessories** . Shoos: Miamai, Regan **L’Accessories** . Shirt: .:Vive Nine:., Helena **The Seasons Story** . Pose: BeBo, Just Pose HUD Bags .

Worry less about what other people think of you, a beautiful life is about spending your time passionately, being happy with who you are inside, and not worrying about everyone’s petty judgments. If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for everyone’s approval. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy or to follow your heart. Plan to outdo your past, not other people, because people, like rivers, constantly change. Deliver results, even when making excuses is easier. Quit taking shortcuts. Stop relying on quick fixes, or blaming others, or relying on “I’ll do it tomorrows.” Enough with the excuses, we all know them for what they are, whether we are giving them or hearing them. Refrain from feeling sorry for yourself. We all know what it’s like to go through a rough patch. The strongest, happiest, most successful people are not those who always win, but are those who don’t give up when they lose. They fail forward. So keep calm when everything seems to be going wrong. You may feel weak, but your spirit is strong. Be patient and don’t rush life. Practice patience and keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in and oft you will find though you might not be right were you expected to be, where you are is beyond your dreams.

The take from? Spend more time with the right people. And if you know the people around you aren’t the right people, you need to change the people around you. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. And if you are the negative people, learn to change your outlook. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for relationships that always bring you down. Forgive those who wronged you and move on, kindness isn’t a sign of weakness, nor is forgiveness a sign of acceptance, it’s merely a willingness to be a strong person, admit people make mistakes, forgive and move on. When life is good, instead of looking for the “next best thing” stop a minute and be thankful and enjoy what you have because happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have. It might not be what you want for your future but it’s all you need right now. Well looky der, my headache is gone. I am happy. Life is good.

Ear Worm:

The Ties that Bind

Second Life Fashion for Life for Relay for Life benefitting the American Cancer Society ends June 20th, 2014

The Ties That BindDress: Miamai, Dalida **FFL** . Shoos: Miamai, Jelly Summer **L’Accessories** . Glasses/Grape Leaf: Elysium, Junia **L’Accessories** . Hair: D!va, Kalli2 . Pose: Nantra .

This second blog is written about friendship and love between women and yes, there is a purpose. I don’t know if you know, but for this Fashion For Life, Squinternet Larnia the designer for Donna Flora has items being sold in the Fashion For Life event. I am sure most of you remember Squinternet, she was a friend to some of us, known by most of us, but to each of us whether friend or acquaintance we know right about this time last year she lost her life to cancer. I think few know the pain of the loss of Squinternet more than Monica Outlander of Miamai and for this event, for her friend Squinternet, she has released several items in the Donna Flora line created by Squinternet and Monica together with 100% of the sales of the outfits going to the American Cancer Society. 100%. You give to the American Society every Linden you pay so please, go buy this line, buy it all if you can. But, that’s not what this blog is about, this blog, as I said is about friendship and women. Love.

The Ties that BindDress: Donna Flora, Doris peacock **FFL** . Hair: Vanity Hair: Ma Belle . Necklace: GizzA, Peacock .

I once overheard the comment, “Yeah, well, you get two women together and it’s like bitch central.” I could have told him he only needed one woman, me, but my thoughts were unimportant what I realized to be true is the important fact, people diminish the real power and strength of female friendship, which is either supposed to descend into some kind of perverted male’s view of a lesbian love scene porn fantasy or be dismissed as meaningless or be re-written as a story of competition. But the truth is, friendships between women are often the deepest and most profound love stories, but they are often discussed as if they are ancillary, “bonus” relationships to the truly important ones. Women’s friendships outlast jobs, parents, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and sometimes children. Ask my friends, they know it as do many of you.

My friends stood with me in the middle of the scary medical ordeal last Fall, they knew they couldn’t take away the pain of the experience, but promised to be there when I emerged on the other side of the pain of surgery and when the grief hits that my of dreams of having children is gone. I felt them, every day, supporting me when I was sad, walking for me when I no longer could. Smiling with me, when I found my smile again, and going through it all again, one more time, when my father past away rather suddenly in December. It is not an exaggeration to say that I would not have survived, that I will not survive, without my girlfriends.

Somehow it is always easier to figure things out when you are not involved in them, when you watch them from afar, and one day as I read Momo’s (Monica’s) blog post about Squinernet on Miamai’s website and as the days grew closer to the day Squinternet lost her fight with cancer, I realized I was given a view of what a true friendship could be. I saw, on that afternoon, that it’s possible to transcend the limits of your skin in a friendship. A friend can take you out of the boxes you’ve made for yourself and burn them up. This kind of friendship is not a frivolous connection, a supplementary relationship to the ones we’re taught and told are primary – spouses, children, parents. It is love. Support, salvation, transformation, life: this is what women give to one another when they are true friends, soul friends, what the Irish call anam cara.

Mo anam cara, my soul mate. All these years, I had it wrong, it’s not the relationship of a man and woman, but of the love of two people who when thrown together their lives just get a little bit better, brighter, and filled with peaceful joy. It’s what the women do for one another in real relationships with real consequences in real time, every day, what my friends do for me. We help one another other live and sometimes, we watch – and help – one another die. That’s what Monica Outlander has done for Squinternet Larnia, she has allowed her to live for one more day and to die just as gracefully as before. She has helped Squinternet help the other victims who will fight the ravages of cancer in years to come. A more noble honor of a friendship I’ve never seen.

On Contests

I can’t read music. Instead, I’d do stuff inside the piano, do harmonics and all kinds of crazy things. They used to put me in these annual piano contests down at Long Beach City College, and two years in a row, I won first prize – out of like 5,000 kids! The judges were like, ‘Very interesting interpretation!’ I thought I was playing it right. ~Eddie Van Halen

On ContestsHat: Baoba, Delicacy Blue **L’Accessoires** . Necklace: LaGyo, Prism . Earrings: Kunglers Extra, Esplendor **L’Accessoires** .

Yeah, I’m kinda like THAT guy, I always have been. Give me a perfectly good coloring book and I can’t wait to draw OUTSIDE the lines. But for those of you who are a competitive sort, [Leezu!] is having a contest I think you may be interested in. Sorry for the late notice, I just learned of it yesterday, but with the prize including 10,000L’s I thought I should pass this on to all you creative sorts out there. Yeah, don’t mind me, I didn’t even read the instructions, “take a snapshot at the special photo booth placed in the store for your convenience” but then what do you expect from a Cao anyway? Deadline is April 19th, so you better get moving on this one! Besides, they give you a gorgeous swimsuit just for participating, see? Everyone’s a winner!

On ContestsHair: Vanity Hair, Fallen . Bag: Natzuka, Alice **L’Accessoires** . Dress: Leezu!, Vienna dress . Leggins: Leezu! Maria tights . Pose: Behavior Body, Bag pose .

More Info: Spring is FINALLY here and we are celebrating with a fun photo contest. All you have to do is put together your favorite LeeZu outfit in spring colors (yellow, pink, white, blue, or anything brightly colored) and take a snapshot at the special photo booth placed in the store for your convenience. Sit on the park bench or stand and pose with the flowers and bunnies.

Once you are happy with your look, take a snapshot, name your photo ‘LeeZu Contest – Your Name’ and send it FULL PERMS to Barbara Nicholls. A panel of judges will judge the photos and their favorite outfit will win the big prize. Also the winning photo will be placed in the main lobby of the store for a week in a place of honor for everyone to admire.


Every eligible entrant will receive an exclusive color of the [LeeZu!] Rio Monokini as pictured on the contest poster.

The judging panel’s favorite outfit will also receive 10000 $L CASH!!!!

So go through your closet, grab some bright LeeZu colors and drop by the photo booth to take a pic for your chance to win! One entry per avatar. No restrictions on photo dimensions. Although photoshopping is permitted, we are judging the outfits as opposed to the quality of the photo.

[LeeZu!] Team

Pick and Roll

Pick and RollHair: CaTwA, Selena . Jewelry: Sax Shepherd, Spirit of Giving .

If you know me, you know I am a little batty when it comes to my Gators (University of Florida) sports teams. Don’t blame me, blame my parents. I was born there at the colleges hospital when my da was in medical school and have gone to all the football games and watched a lot of basketball games as well. Don’t be hater’s you other collegiate fans, I am a product of my environment. But with that said, I have to go meet up with the posse because we are going to a birthday party at a friends house. We are going to drink a few drinks (we have a designated driver) and watch the gators play Tennessee in basketball. I’d like to say I’m going to play that Cornhole game, but they all stand in line NOT to have me play on their team.

Pick and RollDress: *LpD*, Valeria *The Couturier’s Dock* . Blindfold: 22769 .

I can’t say I blame them, heck, I reckon I don’t really even want me on my team either. Last time I threw the bag past the hole, over 3 men more than 6 feet tall and square into the swimming pool. But dang, where’s the loyalty? It’s okay, let ‘em be that way, because what I lack in skill I more than make up for in laugh factor. Besides, I’d rather be watching the basketball game anyway.

Pick and RollShoos: Miamai, Georgia

The take from? I’m gonna pick up something cold to drink and roll on out of here, but I wanted to wish you all a wonderful weekend surrounded by all the people you love the best. Have fun!

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